Monthly Archives: July 2015

There’s a commercial that I love that was created by Similac… it’s kind of amazing ya’ll!  It really speaks to the heart of my hearts when it comes to this motherhood thing!

It begins in a park where all these different “types” of mother’s come together!  I won’t explain it because I’m going to post it at the end and I just won’t do it justice!

Basically in the video, they do what us mom’s always seem to end up doing… one upping each other!  Because let’s face it, somehow along the way this motherhood deal became a contest for the “perfect mom!”  and Dad’s.. hate to say this but you guys are in this too!

WHY!  Why friends did we do this to ourselves?!  Motherhood is hard enough because we have to make these crucial and tough decisions on a daily basis that could effect the future for our family!  That’s enough in itself, shouldn’t we be able to call up another mother and say woah… I need someone to back me up on this or at least support me and say ok you’re doing fine here, take a breather!

There is no one other than another mother that can understand exactly what we are going through or how we are feeling or walk in our shoes!  No one will be able to write a book that will come close, because our families are unique and our children… well they aren’t text books!  Mother’s are the only ones that can come to close to understanding other mother’s!  So it just makes sense that we would create an amazing community around ourselves to be a lifeline for one another, a cheerleader for one another and a hand to hold!

Instead, we do exactly what these mom groups on this video do.  We make it even harder for ourselves because we enter this race for the best and the most perfect, and we challenge each other on a daily basis!

The video puts a funny spin on it and it makes me laugh!  These moms (and dads) take it to the extreme (but almost not really) and I find myself shaking my head and saying little HOLLA’s and AMEN”S!!!

I laugh when they decide to “bring it” and “nipple up” and then when the stroller goes down.. I suck in my breath!

These moms and dads come running together to go after this baby and then something amazing happens.  They all come together and drop their stigmas and their “perfection platforms” and just begin to let their guard down.

As similac puts it “no matter what our beliefs are, we are all parents first!”

I LOVE that!  And that’s what I believe for this Real is Better than Perfect!

I believe this real-ness comes from understanding that even though we so badly want to be the perfect mother and parent for our kids, deep down we know that it just doesn’t exist!

For me.. that real-ness came from not only accepting that I wasn’t going to be the perfect mother but actually loving that idea!

I don’t WANT to be a perfect mother and I don’t want Linc to grow up believing that I was!  I don’t want him to feel like when he’s a parent he has to go on carrying this idea of perfect parent!

I want him to grow up with this real-ness so he can truly see that there is so much beauty just being who he is and being honest about it!

I think for us mom’s Real-ness comes in baby steps!

It starts with believing that our stories as a mom (becoming a mom and our every day moments as a mom) are worth being heard by other mom’s!  That they don’t have to be these incredibly impactful and heart breaking stories!  They just have to be our own and we just have to be willing to share them honestly and openly!

I think it starts with not being afraid to say THIS is what works for my family and while it may not have worked for yours, it does work for mine and I stand behind my choice 100 percent even though it may not be the “in” choice right now!

(Hey… our family wasn’t able to breast feed and it was a painful choice that we had to make after 2 months of desperately trying and pumping and fear of judgement and loss of friends).

I think it also starts with sharing your life… your REAL life with your friends and family through your online presence!

You know what.. it’s OK if you don’t have the perfect little one all the time!  Guess what… children are children.. they aren’t perfect!  They are learning and we are learning and growing as parents right along with them!

I have found that when I get together with another mom and finally let it out that, HEY… last night Linc was like a toddler from American Psycho when I tried to take him out of the bath and what IS this right now?!  That finally it’s like other parents are coming out of the shadows and agreeing with me saying… oh girl, it’s the THREE’s.  No one tells you about the three’s!  They say terrible two’s all the time but it’s the THREE’S!!!

And guess what.. I feel soo much relief!  I feel like it’s a breath of fresh air!

We can talk about this and it’s like a salve on the wound that we can actually laugh and tell stories that maybe weren’t quite funny in the moment, but now… woah they are so hysterical!

THIS is how we begin to be real with one another and how we create a beautiful community of togetherness!

THIS… is what real is better than perfect is all about~

Let’s come together and laugh together!  Let’s share our story and cry together but I promise you, we may start off crying but we will probably end up laughing (and maybe even crying some more).

Let me share my gift of photography with you and actually SHOW YOU in images just how beautiful life can be when you do let your guard down and take of this filter of perfect and show me the true you that isn’t polished!

I’m telling you… it’s beautiful when its messy and in the middle of the chaos!

This is truly where we are meant to be friends!

Here is that video I promised!

YouTube / Similac US – via Iframely

 

I would guess that there are still some people in that video that might have had a thing or two to say about that mom who let her baby roll away…

but my hope is that maybe, just maybe, we could all come together like all the parents in this video did and just be happy that cute little girl was safe and sound and had one adventurous little ride!!

 

Happy Thursday everyone!  Can I just take a moment to ask everyone for a collective deep breath?!  One… Two… Three… AHHHH!

Ok, now I feel MUCH better!

This morning has been quite the morning around here!  I’ll give you the brief run down instead of the long winded run down which you can read over on the Motherhood Journal community facebook page if you wish!

Let’s just say since I totally believe that Real is Better Than Perfect… I share my life!  This morning, we had some real life going on up in here!  We weren’t even up for 2 minutes in this house when the raw side of motherhood set in and the waterworks began to flow for me!  I need a sign this morning that reads… BEWARE, emotional and in need of GOOD coffee!

Linc will be 3 in less than a week (say WHAT?!)  and lately he’s been really vocal about his independence and likes and dislikes!  He’s also been asserting his strong willed personality!  That’s a nice way to put it!  Usually, Tuck and I can laugh about it, but this morning, well, my feelings were really hurt!  I feel like there are times when as mom’s we can take a lot and still smile and laugh it off but sometimes (SOMETIMES) there is just a point where the dumbest little thing or the smallest little thing just cuts like a knife and I feel like it’s fair that we can say WOAH… that one really hurt!  Now I will go cry in the corner (or the pantry).

And so I cried this morning when my THREENAGER saw me two seconds after walking downstairs and ran to his daddy and acted like I had the plague and wanted to be held because Mommy was NOT his best friend and he wanted nothing to do with me.  In fact, he wanted me to go back upstairs and hide myself away and pretend I didn’t exist!  He even started crying when he saw my face! (gut punch)

OUCH… friends!  Big, fat arrow to the heart!  After several days of time outs and american pyscho like tantrums and this really DUMB-ASS stage (excuse my language) of you’re my best friend, you AREN’T my best friend… my little mom heart just couldn’t handle this one more form of rejection so early in the morning when coffee wasn’t even beginning to brew!  So I lost my marbles and in my own mad-hatter like fashion… I cried!

I think my husband was seriously scared and perplexed!

I carried myself back up to my bedroom and wept into my pillow.  Yes.. I know I acted EXACTLY like my toddler!  And you know what… IT FELT GOOD!!!

Anyway.. we have since resolved our matter!  I have had some coffee (although the coffee we bought yesterday is gross so I’m still sad) but my toddler is happy and I am his best friend again as it will go for probably 18 more years… and I guess I should strengthen my little mom heart!

And probably put on my big girl mom panties!  Maybe even invest in some grannie panties (I do own some… as moms you know we all do)!  Don’t be shy!

But in light of this morning and mornings like this from here on out, I thought today was the perfect day to share a project I am doing for myself!

A project I want to share with you but also challenge you to take with me!  

It’s a LONG challenge… 365 days long!

Here’s the WHY of it though, and I’m giving that to you first before I give you the details!  The Why is important because we don’t get behind things for the product!  We decide to join in or follow or believe because of the WHY or heart of it.

So here’s Mine behind this project/challenge!

365 days of all:  As mom’s we are so busy taking care of our families that we often times get to witness the moments as they happen!  We watch them pass by as we are doing other tasks, important tasks that take care of all the family needs!  We watch our families play and hear them laugh and squeal and giggle AS we are making them dinner!  We see them sit quietly and reflectively AS we are cleaning or doing the laundry and we appreciate that moment from a far!  We are lucky enough to see these moments unfold and it’s an incredible blessing BUT what if we could actually step INSIDE those moments for one single second to capture one snapshot?!  What if we could hold on to one moment of the day that we could remember the entire year and save these every day moments… that were so incredibly special!  So special that we stopped what we were doing and placed ourselves IN the moment so that we could freeze it in time and say EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. MATTERED!  Say that not just the pretty ones with the big bows or the dapper straps… but the every single day moments mattered too?!

What do you think about that?!

This is my goal!  I have this amazing camera that I use to document lives of people!  It’s my tool and I use it to capture lives and special events and moments in motherhood that steal the heart and breath.  BUT the other day I stopped to think… what if I really embraced this real is better than perfect and took one picture of my family every single day.  What if I said these pictures don’t have to be epic, they don’t have to be memorable moments.. they just have to be one single moment out of our day for every single day out of the year!  Then at the end of the year I reflected on them and remembered?!  How amazing would that be?!  What would that look like for me as a mom and what would that say to my family?!

It would tell my family that they are number one.. they are important!  It would also say that no matter what… stepping in to a moment and being a part of the moving and shaking and living breathing moments of my family will always be more important than the daily “tasks”.  It would say that hey, the dishes can wait, the laundry can wait, social media on my phone can wait.. that they will always be there to finish but that Linc will never be this little again!  That these moments will never happen again!

It would also say… momma… YOU are important too and your role as the family historian is soo precious GO GET IN THERE!

So… I have started right away!   I realized, this is too important.  I realized it is also too simple!  Grab a camera (anything will do) and snap one shot.  5 seconds! 8 seconds if you are a bull riding fan!

So here are the details, will you join me!

  • Take 1 photo a day of your family/ children/husband/dogs!  It doesn’t matter!  One snapshot a day to represent the day!
  • Give it a title or a caption
  • Create a folder so we can upload weekly for a blog on Thursday’s  with #365ofall also #brooketuckerphotography
  • If you are an instagram lover like me  instagram thursday same hashtags #365ofall #brooketuckerphotography

That’s IT! Super simple!  I’m going to be doing this for an entire 365 days!

I’m also going to be doing some super fun things along with this… some features and some fun give aways as well!

I just feel like this is soo important! So here are my beginnings…   It’s a humble beginning and only 3 images since I just started!  But a start is the hardest part!

Will you start with me?!

 

 

DIZZY

The real 365 project Brooke Tucker

MUSCLE MAN

The real 365 project Brooke Tucker

 

BLISS

  • July 2, 2015 - 1:45 pm

    Angie - Love this challenge!ReplyCancel

brooke-tucker-photography-photo.jpg

On my drive back from Lexington, Va this past week, I took that 4 hours to really reflect on my heart!  There has been a lot of things on my heart lately and it has been GOOD friends… soo many good things!

There’s something about driving and the silence and rhythm of the drive that allows you to search your heart and really get to the depths of it that brings clarity.  That drive… it allows you to finally pull at those heart strings and hear the song of the soul!

And as I was driving on Friday the sun kept coming and going through the rain.  It was the perfect melody to the words on my heart;  allowing some parts to be a bit dark with a heavy percussion and then uplifting with a grace and ease as the sun would shine and rise out of the trees providing light and air and a breath!

I’ve been singing a lot (and loudly) about this realness:  Real is better than perfect!  I’ve asked for people to join in and let down their guard and let go of this need to show up with a sense of who we feel our community and “our people” want and need us to be!  I’ve asked that we shed our desire to BE for them and show up instead wearing our hearts and our vulnerabilities for all to see.  I’ve especially called on us as mom’s to do this!

I’ve called for this because in my heart, I truly believe that THIS is the only way that we can truly connect with one another!  If we can be REAL with one another then we can learn to love and appreciate each other for who we really are, our stories and where we come from and the potential for who we can be!

As mother’s especially in this time right now, there are so many opportunities for us to judge ourselves or feel that very heavy weight of pressure!  We don’t need other’s to do it for us, we can do it all by ourselves!  I know… because I am guilty of this myself!  It’s like that heavy rain that poured down with such a heavy drum beat on my car… it comes so quick and so fast that it can be absolutely blinding at times and it can be scary if you are left all alone to drive it by yourself.

It we join together in this beautiful community and let go of this facade of perfection and decide to come to the table together, we can make a difference!  If we, together, meet with one another and embrace our real lives and our real vulnerabilities;  if we can share our stories…  that my friends is like the sun shining through and shedding light down for all of us!

THIS is the kind of light I want to be.. this is the kind of REAL I want to be!

I want to be the kind of real that shares who I am and where I come from.  I want to share my heart:  all of it, not just the some of it that I think people want to hear or “is acceptable” and I want to share it any time someone needs it!

My story isn’t a perfect one.  My story isn’t the kind of raw story that is so impactful it will bring a house down into tears and move mountains.  My story is just mine!  I embrace it and maybe it will help one person who is like me out there but if I hide it away, we will never know.

Every day I feel blessed to be a mother and there is nothing more in this world that I have ever wanted in my life, but there are times that I lose my patience and times that I need to put myself in time out (and times that this non-drinker might jokingly wish for some vodka)  THIS is just how parenting goes and it’s nice to know I”m not alone!!!  It’s nice to know that we all have “those days” where we feel like what has happened!

Those are the days I want to have a community of support that we can tap into so we can lean on, laugh with, run to or at least just take a slow long deep breath with!  A community that says… YES my friend… I have been there too!  Let me send a little love your way so you know, it’s OK.

THIS is the light I want to be… I want to take my story and this light I have and this love I have and I want to shine it out to as many people as I can and as far as I can!  I want to encourage as many other people to do the same!

Will you be brave enough to say I am not perfect and as much as I adore this life and being a mom.. it IS hard but yes, it IS the most amazing role I have ever been gifted to have?!  But it’s not perfect?!

Will you?!  Will you join me at this table and this community and share your stories and shine your light?!

 

 

 

  • July 1, 2015 - 1:44 pm

    Kat Arandela - I will join you all day and everyday, through the good, the bad and the really ugly. I will be there to hold your hand, to laugh uncontrollably, and to cry hysterically. I will. XoxoxoReplyCancel

    • July 1, 2015 - 1:49 pm

      brooketuckerphoto@gmail.com - you are amazing Kat!!!!ReplyCancel

  • July 22, 2015 - 3:39 am

    The Sea of Inspiration » Elizabeth Friske Photography Blog - […] got be really thinking about friend Brooke.  This is the concept Brooke is so passionate about.  Real is Better Than Perfect.  This is a concept that is big.  Exciting and eye opening! Follow Brooke and get a fresh […]ReplyCancel