Monthly Archives: February 2016

Real Is Better Than Perfect call to all mothers

This is BIG friends and I can’t even begin to describe to you what “this” is quite yet.. because I’m still trying to pull all my ideas into ONE actionable goal!

I can say that there has been a stirring in my heart for over a year and a half now that has lead me to this notion and the creation of that hashtag “Real is Better Than Perfect”.  It’s a call to action to all the mamas out there!  A call that I hope speaks to your heart just as much as it does mine.  One that I hope fills your heart and leaves you with these same warm and fuzzy and “DAMN RIGHT” feelings that I hold every single time I even begin to talk about these little stirrings!  It’s calling that is needed right now, more than I ever I think!

Let me back up a bit first though and explain why this is so important this morning.  This post is for YOU!  It’s to explain just WHY I do what I do as a photographer;  and also to give you a little background on a new series I am going to be starting:  The Real is Better Than Perfect motherhood series!

There is no other job like motherhood!  It is both amazing and crazy all at the same time bound up in these cute little bundle of joy energy packets!  It’s a fierce love that will never know an equal and to know this love is to be touched by heaven!  When you first become a mama, from the second you even get pregnant, you enter into what I like to call “a secret club”~  only because no one really tells you all the details about it.  Maybe that’s because it’s entirely unique to every mother and every child.  It might also be because (in my case) no one wanted to burst my motherhood is perfection bubble!  Motherhood is perfection but it is not perfect!

All the experiences we go through and all the feelings that we feel, no one could ever dream to come close to understanding unless they are a mama themselves. That one small fact alone is beautiful.  It’s a humbling fact and it is one that should unite us and bind us together in a sisterhood of motherhood.

Somehow though, it doesn’t.

Instead, it creates in us this fear:  fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of “not being perfect”.  All that fear (and believe me there are too many fears to name) I believe creates in us a sense of competition and one-up-ness.  Competition isn’t good.  It’s not good for anyone but for us mother’s it can create such loneliness and isolation!  For this mama it actually created a desperation!

Mamas: why do we do this to ourselves?!

Why do we judge each other so harshly?  Why do we feel this need to create this perfect image for everyone to see on the outside, yet on the inside we are secretly hiding the facts that actually might unite us together and help us to laugh at crazy situations motherhood places us in from time to time.  Motherhood is hard enough and at some point we have to take a look around and say screw it:  if my child is happy and healthy than who cares if I breast feed, bottle feed, cloth diaper, feed them fast food, let them watch cartoons… (fill in your own blank here)

I found that the more openly I talked about our “real” life and my struggles as well as my success as a mama, the more it actually connected me to other mom’s around me!  I was amazed that so many other women had the same troubles I had or were working on the same goals I was, or good gosh have said the same crazy words like I have (Linc we do NOT run a nudist colony in our back yard!!)

Actually letting down my guard, dropping my mask of who I thought I needed to be for fear of judgement, led me to feel more confident in myself!  It helped me gain more authentic friendships and connect on a deeper level with those around me.

Being real meant freedom!

So this my beautiful mama friends is where I need YOU!!!

There is a big movement right now and call to be “real” on social media, but let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute, how “real” are we truly being?!

I think we are just barely skimming the surface.  I think we are still letting the fear of (you name it) hold it’s tight grip over our hearts and get in the way of these amazingly authentic connections we could forge together if we just let go!

My challenge to you is to get really real with at least on mama today!  I want you to truly open up about something that has been on your heart that you are scared to share!  I promise it’s both freeing and it’s amazing what can happen and the conversation it can spark.  Please don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.

I’ve shared every topic that I can think of including the one that was so scary for me:  my severe postpartum depression after having  Linc .  I also shared how after not fully addressing the deeper issues it caused that anxiety and depression to re-surface once my husband deployed.

I could have never anticipated that sharing those stories out of the hope that maybe one other mother might read it and not feel so alone, would create so many deep friendships with girlfriends that I never would have met otherwise.  It’s crazy because even some of the girlfriends I had before are now closer to me after I revealed the whole story!

So what do you think my mother friend can you get truly real, not this social media real that we are seeing where it’s just a sneak peek real, but nitty gritty real with just one other mama today?!

I think that you can!  If you share it over instagram tag me in it.. @kbrooketucker and post it with the hashtag #realisbetterthanperfect.

I’m going to start this new series next week and it’s going to be a home base for real motherhood topics!  Some might be silly and some might be questions that I posing to you.  There will be other topics and conversations like this one, where it’s just vulnerable and real.  I want us to unite and share our knowledge together.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “It takes a village”.  Let’s be this village!!!

To kick us off, I’m going to disclose my full journey into real motherhood with you and that’s a scary thing for me to publish!  Even though that might be scary, I know it’s worth it because in this day and age of social media highlight reels where everything is still pretty darn perfect, I know in my heart this movement of realness needs to happen especially for us mamas.

Let’s get together and unite as a tribe;  a sisterhood of mothers if you will instead of growing apart in judgement and comparison.

Will you stand with me friend?

Real Is Better Than Perfect call to all mothers

 

To follow along with me and my little family’s real and authentic adventures, keep up with us on instagram:  @kbrooketucker

  • February 26, 2016 - 12:25 am

    Nicole - AMAZING photos – love kids and they grow so fast, you gotta catch the magic in the photos before its too late. If you would like to leave us some business cards, we would LOVE to pass them out for you…we know a lot of mothers here…I work at a Virginia Beach hair salon (shearblissvb. com and check us out – we are on shore drive and even let people book their hair appointment online)…people love coming here, and mothers especially, as we have a huge tablet setup in the back of the salon to let the kids play while their parents are getting their haircut or style / color…but are most certainly kid friendly and would love to have you and help promote some of your cards : )ReplyCancel

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography
Sometimes you just have to take an adventure when it presents itself to you, even if you might get a little frostbite on your fingers!

There is no other way I would wish to spend my Saturday morning than with one of my favorite gal pals than frolicking around in the snow, giggling into fits of laughter, creating memories that will always be imprinted on my heart and then going out for much needed super hot coffee to warm our bones after!  That’s exactly what I did with Christina this past Saturday at 830 in the morning in a random field off the side of the road!  You know it’s true friendship when you can meet at one field that’s pretty known (at least it’s in a well known area), chat for a few minute about the location and the “vision” and then say hey, I’ll follow you and she leads you to an entirely different location off the beaten path and then when you jump out you both nod to each other and say “uh huh, I feel ya!”  That’s the mark of a soul sister!

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography

We texted a bit on Friday to say hey, we need to mark this pregnancy because yea girl, I know it’s your fourth but what do you think about going having some fun snowy images done!  If you know Christina, you know that’s totally her personality as she is gorgeous and down to the earth, but oh so witty and sarcastic!  It was totally last minute and I’m sure I had her in a panic about what to wear but we agreed to catch up in the morning.  I didn’t realize that over night we would have a little more snowfall because living in a coastal area, we just never do, luckily we had clear roads which is amazing and some gorgeous white covered fields that were to die for!

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography

The two of us debated for a while about how scared we were to drive. If you live in Virginia Beach and you are a true native, you know why we did that.  No one can truly drive here if you are from here!  I will admit it, I was scared!  I also knew that if I didn’t go I would regret it.  I would regret the fun and the adventure, so we just went for it and I’m so thankful we did because for me it’s not even about the images I took.  I love the images, don’t get me wrong.  What I loved most about this shoot was the adventure and the laughter we had together!  I loved that leaving the house I Tuck, nah I don’t need gloves because it’s actually rather warm for the snow.  OH man LIAR I was.  Thankfully he made me take some gloves anyway!  We stood outside for all of five minutes before we were both screaming CAR CAR… I can’t feel my fingers!  I literally had to go hop in her car to thaw my fingers out with only three images on my camera!  I grabbed those gloves Tuck game me and worked with them despite their bulky too big for the buttons fingers!

I loved how we talked about why people actually LIKE living in weather where they can’t feel their faces?!  They were some parts where we accidentally out of habit kept referring to the snow as sand!  The best was when I would yell WIND WHIP and Christina would be in the most awkward position but automatically strike a pose!  That still makes me laugh!

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography

I love Christina’s personality and I love that she let’s me actually SEE it during a session!

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography

A finally…. ahhh warm coffee and a place to put up our wet feet!

Beautiful Virginia Beach Snowy Maternity Session by Brooke Tucker Photography

It’s times like these that I realize it’s not always about the outcome the session:  the images, that is the most important part!  It’s the adventure and the process that is truly the reward!  These days so many of us are focused on the prettiest images, the blog post, the submission or the styled shoot for print!  We all want that recognition for our work and hey.. I’m right there with you!  But to be honest, it’s days like this snow day with Christina that bring me back to my WHY!  Days like this day here that bring me to the heart of why I love doing what I do.  It’s because I love connecting with people in a true and endearing way that is authentic and speaks to the heart of they truly are!  It’s because I want to get out and take adventures and make new memories with friends and just laugh sometimes!  It’s to have these experiences.

Why did you start shooting in the first place?!  Have you gone out to shoot for just that purpose recently?!

Why I

Okay Ya’ll… I know that title is NOT lady like!  I know that I may have lost a friend or two BUT before you go, hear me out! (haha pun not intended)

It’s true, I’m obsessed and by the end of this post, you will be too I promise with the Poo… Poo-Pourri that is!  This is perfect Monday morning conversation ya’ll!

It’s perfect in place of our weekend recap because I spent a lot of time dishing about it over the weekend in fact!

Have you heard about it yet?!  I’m sure you have.  It’s been all over Good House keeping, Glamour, The Huffington Post and even more.

I recently found it over Christmas in a store my mama and I love to shop in for little personal touch gifts.  We were browsing with our arms filled to the brims with goodies galore!  I stumbled up to the cash register to lay my items to rest so I could fill my arms with more sparkly coffee mugs, t-shirts and hand made ornaments when I noticed a scent that was delightfully different!  It was subtle and nice and again a bit odd, not in a bad way odd just not a perfume and not a cologne.  It wasn’t a candle or atomizer it was something that was entirely of it’s own character.

On a shelf next to the register I noticed all the little gems in spray form! “Spray before you go and no one will know!”

I gently chuckled to myself as I read all the names… “Call of the wild”, “Poo-la-la”, Trap a Crap” etc!  My mama came over and we started laughing even harder with the ladies at the register but we began to take them pretty seriously as we noticed that they did smell rather nice.  I picked up a couple (Call of the Wild and Poo-tonium)  to shove in Tuck’s stocking stuffer as a little gag gift and didn’t really think anymore of it!

Fast forward a few months later and we have since purchased more bottles and more scents for every single bathroom in our house!  This stuff is no joke and it’s amazing!  I’m not kidding when I say we are crazily obsessed in this house!  Gag gift or not, we adore it!

I just bought an extra bottle of the citrus for the whole family as a Valentines Day Gift!  Nothing says I love you unconditionally than gifting for poop!

So, here’s the deal:  I live with 2 boys and I will tell you the toddler is the worst one in the house.  Thank goodness he has learned to spray 3 times before he hops up on the toilet and praise the Poo Pourri lady… our lives are changed for the good!!!

YOU CAN NOT SMELL A THING other than the beautiful scent of whatever all natural goodness flows from the spritzer in those bottles!  It’s pure genius!

Here’s 3 Reasons why YOU will love it:

  1. It’s just that genius!  It’s so easy to use and it works on everything from the mild to the unmentionable
  2. There is a “flavor” for everyone!  I suffer from migraines and scents can bring on one in a second for me!  These are subtle and can range from extra floral to mild mannered!  You choose your scent passion;  there is one for everyone’s personality!
  3. They come in adorable little packaging and are super clever!  The point is to laugh about it!  EVERYONE does it!  It’s no secret so let’s all laugh about it and then spritz away and be amazed!  

Seriously friends: Spritz, go, and no one will ever know!

This is a huge deal right now as we are showing our house!  I kid you not, we have actually had comments on how nice our bathrooms smell!

OHH if only they knew!  🙂

It’s absolutely that easy!  Spritz 2 to 4 times into the bowl before you go.  Enjoy some alone time on the potty.  Flush, and enjoy the beautiful aroma of the scent you chose!  That’s all there is.  The beauty of the spray is that it is completely all natural too, no harsh chemicals, no harsh alcohols, no parabens!  We can feel good about allowing our 3 year old to use it!

There are several locations locally here in VB that sell P00-Pourri but honestly their website is genius!  They even have little “get to know you” bottles and re-fillable bottles that you could keep in your purse!  Although, don’t even put it past me to keep a bottle of this liquid gold in my purse for a public “emergency!”  It’s THAT good and I’m terrified of public restrooms so if I feel comfortable, you know it’s just genius!

I’m dying to try to vanilla mint and ya’ll they have shoe-pourri!!  Can we just put that in all of my toddler’s shoes right now?!!

So… the moral of this story is this is my favorite product right now and it is so amazing that it is probably saving relationships one bathroom at a time!

Poop might not be the most favored of blogging topics but everyone does it, it’s natural.  So why not talk about the best thing that has happened to make this whole situation a million times better?!

Go check them out and get yourselves a bottle today!  You can find them here!!  It’s the best money you will have spent on your bathroom in a long long time!

By the way… this is totally NOT a sponsored post!  I just love it that much and I know you will too!  As mom’s we absolutely have to stick together!  I have found that there is no other way to forge your bond as a mama on your side like no other than to talk about poop.  It just happens and it seriously is the one way we can all relate and bond.  I don’t know why that is, but it seems like (at least in my personal life) once you become a mom, there are no topics off limits and poo is just the one topic we can all bond over and totally laugh about!  “Oh my gosh.. you experienced that with poop ME TOO, LOL oh my gosh your my new BFF for life”!  Has that conversation ever happened to you?  Or is that just me?!

This little spray is genius and if you have a potty training one in the house, oh my it’s lovely!  Teach them to spritz and like I tell Linc your future wife will thank me! 😉

Tomorrow I will be back with my usual pretty images but I just wanted to share something with you that is super helpful; especially as a mama!

In the meantime… here’s my little one in all his goofy glory!

365 day project, spiderman in waiting

Spiderman here was waiting on some dinosaur eggs to hatch!  It’s so hard waiting!

xoxo

B

To keep up with all of our adventures, I hope you continue to follow us on our instagram:  @kbrooketucker

 

 

 

 

 

M o r e   i n f o
M o r e   i n f o
M o r e   i n f o